Sunday, June 23, 2013

Sabba-Wha?

So, I have a problem, and perhaps you, dear friends, can offer me some wisdom.

See, I have this problem with not sitting still on Sundays.

And I really, really want Sundays to be my Sabbath, my day of rest.

Buuuuuut...instead, I find myself tossing in 'just one' load of laundry, vacuuming roly-poly carcasses in the entryway, and emptying the dishwasher (and moving the chicken coop and cleaning the bathroom). My husband shakes his head and tells me to sit down and rest already, but in my mind, if I sit down, the things will not get done, and OH MY WORD.

THINGS MUST GET DONE.

Because the week is coming. And my mind is already there.

This is a true example of my thought-process today:

Naomi has a doctor's appointment on Monday morning.

I need to do everything I can tonight to make sure I don't have any chores to do in the morning, since we won't be here.

But, tonight, I have nursery duty at church.

And I have to be there at 5:45.

Which means, I need to get stuff done before then, while the kids are napping.

But, the kids need to pick up their own toys, so we need to pick up rooms and the playroom before naps.

And since they are cleaning and picking up, I might as well vacuum the dead roly-poly carcasses in the entryway.

And, just like that, I'm bustling around the house, hauling the vacuum cleaner behind me because I noticed the crumbs under the kitchen table after vacuuming up the dead roly-polys and how gross would it be if I left the crumbs there while the vacuum cleaner was IN MY HAND?

As I type this, I think I have a problem.

I mean, I don't consider myself a neat freak. But, there is an order to how I make things work throughout the day. If I allow dishes, laundry, or dead roly-polys to accumulate at all, then I'm immediately in over my head. Because my life doesn't stop, except at nap time. The house gets undone several times a day thanks to the little birds three, and I love that ... as long as I can have it picked up, too. And I do take a break at nap time. But ... what about Sundays?

I am a huge believer in Sabbath Rest. For us, Sunday is the most obvious day for that rest. I think what I'm saying is, I have a hard time allowing myself any type of rest for an entire day. A whole day without a load of laundry? Really? MY LIFE WILL COLLAPSE. Because tomorrow, when the mess is still there, I'm suddenly behind. And life keeps tumbling forward and, for me, it's much easier to tumble right along with it than to stop and rest and get left behind. If the house is picked up and the chores are done, I feel more prepared to face the day, if we have somewhere we have to be. And then I'm spending more time playing and hanging out with the kids than frantically doing eight loads of laundry.

Is this a season? I know the dead roly-polys only happen in the summer, so that really is only a season. I don't vacuum every day during the other three seasons, ha. But, in all seriousness, what should my reason be to rest? God did not command us to rest "during nap time". God Himself rested for a whole day after creating the world. He created rest, when you think of it. I know rest should be, in theory,  restorative, but it's hard to feel restored when there's a pile of laundry that needs to be done, at the brink of a busy week that won't allow you much time to do it.

You know what I think it is, too? I have a hard time resting at home. Put me on a boat or at someone else's house, and I can sit and be lazy. But at my house, I'm always seeing things that need to be done. Once those things are done, I rest just fine. But taking an entire day of rest means those things won't get done.

Is it okay to only rest during nap time, or should I really try to take an entire day of rest on Sunday?

Does it matter?

What do y'all think??

Have a lovely day. :)

14 comments:

  1. The temptation is definitely there for me to do the same, especially since our church only meets on Sunday evenings. Our church starts at 5.
    I just finished re-reading "7," which I know Erin has read and wasn't sure if you have. In the last section, her family tries to observe the Sabbath from sundown Saturday to sundown Sunday.
    Maybe you could give yourself that time frame- whatever you don't finish by sundown Saturday night just waits until Monday.

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    1. Keely, I did the 7 Study with Erin, but hadn't completed the last section nor read the last chapter of the book ... until about five minutes ago, laying in bed. Wow. It was exactly what I needed to read! I want to order the book of prayers by Macrina Weiderkehr.

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  2. I felt similarly (except no kids) that Sundays are for house-cleaning. And then one week while I was in Austin, I heard this sermon on the Sabbath. http://austinstone.org/sermons/item/the-lord-of-the-sabbath When I saw he was teaching on the Sabbath, I remember thinking, "Oh, great...I know all about this one!" But I'd really recommend a listen. He states at one point that failing to Sabbath is really telling God "I don't trust You to meet my needs unless I'm always on watch." Which, yikes, convicting! It really changed my mindset and encourages me now to spend Sunday with friends that encourage me, with my husband, but also in the Word and in things that are life-giving.

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    1. That's exactly what it is--I don't trust that things will get done unless I do them when I think they should be done. But I know that, the truth is, they WILL get done, just not necessarily in my own time frame. I have a hard time relinquishing that control, which is sad, really. I think I'm realizing that if I don't take a Sabbath, the busy-ness simply continues to perpetuate itself with no end in sight. How miserable.

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  3. I feel like I am in the exact same boat! At this point, I don't even know how it's possible to keep Sunday only as a Sabbath. We live in a huge fixer upper house and we are constantly working on projects and, sometimes, we can only make it half way on Saturday, which leaves only Sunday to finish it. Johnny (my husband) comes home late most week days, so I do a lot of yard work during the week and save the weekends for big projects that I really need help on. As I really don't have any advice for you, I can relate and would love to read more of your thoughts of this in the future!

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    1. Time has been a tricky thing for us, too, Anna. We aren't renovating, but my husband started his own business last year and it's beginning to grow ... which means lots of overtime until they hire more employees. He works into the evening, which means I'm on dinnertime/bathtime/bedtime duty by myself, and after the kids are in bed, I'm wiping down countertops, loading the dishwasher, folding the laundry and putting it away until late at night. I think I have a hard time resting on Sundays because I know there is a good chance I'll fly solo again a few times in the coming week and I want to be as prepared as possible. But all of this "doing" isn't necessarily preparing me in the right way. I'm starting to get that.

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  4. True confessions: I am the opposite. I'm all like "Whoo hoo! Sabbath Rest = be lazy all weekend!!! Enjoy my people! I"ll clean that up later! Who needs clean undies anyway?!?" And then on Monday morning I'm like, "Well, crud." So surely there is a balance to be found in there somewhere! ;)

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    1. Ha! That's great! How you are able to rest in the middle of remodeling your new house is beyond me, and I applaud you. It's just really hard for me to look around my house and see the things I will have to do eventually anyway, so why not do them now? But I have to learn to rest. Like I mentioned in my post, I'm great at relaxing if I'm not at home. But, I can only relax at home if everything (or, almost everything) is in order to some extent. I need to get over that.

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  5. Yep, I'm more along the lazy lines, as well. I think what I'm starting to learn is that so much of it (for me) is a control issue. In order to be a good steward of our home and get things done AND take a sabbath, I have to be willing to work diligently at times when I normally take "me time", like when the kids are napping. I don't know ... I think it is important to rest during the week, as well; but I also want to trust that God knew what He was doing when He set up the system. And I don't want to be legalistic about it. I do believe though, that when I align a part of my life with a Scriptural principle, even if it seems counter-intuitive, things work better. That's my unhelpful brain dump.

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    1. It's a very helpful brain dump. :) For a while, I worked hard on Saturdays so everything would be in order for Sunday and I wouldn't feel stressed about getting things done when I wanted to be resting. But, I'm beginning to think that's maybe part of the problem--I'm associating my ability to rest with the number of tasks I've completed, when I should really be able to rest despite things being unfinished. The kids typically sleep for 2-3 hours in the afternoon and I give myself an hour to eat alone, nap, watch a show. Other than that, I'm doing stuff around the house. So I don't think the problem is resting too much during the week--sometimes I feel like I should rest more during the week! But I think I'm only focusing on physical preparation for the Sabbath when I should be focusing on the spiritual. Because as soon as I finish the laundry, someone will run through the mud and spill grape juice on their shirt. I have to, at some point, learn to smile and put it aside. Oy. I'm so bad at that.

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  6. I have the same problems. I have major issues with resting and relaxing on any day. For a while I made a conscious effort to make Sundays a rest day, but I've kind of lost that. Okay, so maybe I did it for a month. Anyway, I'm trying to learn to let things go, but I'm the same way. The temptation to do just one more thing is always there. I wish I had a solution. Instead I'll just commiserate with you.

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  7. Everything you wrote resonates with me except that I don't think I have your focus or discipline when it comes to household chores!! I can't say I get a lot done OR rest, which is kind of ridiculous.. Remember Lauren Winner who spoke at JBU chapel when we were seniors? She wrote a book called "Mudhouse Sabbath" - it explains several Jewish traditions and then she tries to show why evangelicals might benefit from it.. The chapter on Sabbath was excellent (the best in the book, I think), and my take away was that there's a sense of ceremony to the way Sabbath is greeted by the family during the meal Friday night and there is a way in which it is farewelled on Saturday night.. There are beautiful blessings spoken, candles lit, special food. I LOOOOOVED this idea and even though we don't do anything like it, I think there is something to this idea that Sabbath is something we choose to enter into as a family and we "greet" it and then say goodbye to it, which makes it easier to abide within it..

    As far as resting during the day goes (while other things remain undone), one thing that helps me is giving myself intentional permission. So I literally have a conversation with myself "You are tired and need to sit down and read or nap and so the ______ will not get done and that is ok" or "You will not do _______ and that's totally fine" or "You will just go on the internet and veg and that is ok" etc.. That has really removed the guilt that I often felt after doing something restful or fun when there were "responsible" things to get done.

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  8. I haven't read all of the other comments...but one thing we've done for years is an alternative way of practicing sabbath. Since we usually go to church on Saturday nights, we take time off from the busyness of life from Saturday evening through Sunday evening. We don't have a specific start and end time, but those roughly 24 hours are for worshipping as a family and being together doing something fun or even just doing nothing. Obviously we still have to cook, do dishes, etc. but we try to keep outside commitments to a minimum and make it family time. There are always variations to a weekly sabbath day. I think the point is to slow down and rest and focus on what's really important. I do have to say though that I feel like Monday is all catch-up since so few domestic responsibilities get done over the weekend. That's exhausting!

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  9. I am the exact same way - I cannot relax at all when I am home until all the chores are done. It drives my husband insane. I've gotten a little better, by prioritizing items. But if something is on the to-do list, I want to DO it and get it done. And then I can rest :)

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