OH MY WORD.
I'm not going to lie--I'm getting "there". You know, the place where you're kind of done with pregnancy? Not in a miserable sort of way. I really can't complain. My heartburn is at a minimum and I still have ankles. But, I can feel myself reaching the "I'm ready for the baby to be on the outside, not the inside!" part of my pregnancy. And, really, I reach exhaustion much more quickly than usual. I think that is the hardest part. I wish I wasn't worn out so easily. But, I know that's just part of it and I keep reminding myself that this, too, shall pass. It's hard to feel like a stellar Mom or an awesome wife when you're huffing and puffing and hoisting yourself from one place to another. Not exactly a fun playmate. And not exactly an attractive partner.
If I sit and think about it for too long, I find myself growing just a tad depressed from my lack of, well, mobility. I really have to give myself pep talks to get up and get going. I've found that it can be easy to slide into laziness under the guise of pregnancy exhaustion and I really, really, REALLY, don't like being lazy. Rest is one thing. Idle hands are another.
This past weekend I attended a banquet at the university where my parents work and my Dad was honored for his ten years of service there. Each honoree was awarded a special pin and the head of their departments read a small description of what made them noteworthy. It was very special. Our Dean of Students read a passage of Scripture that immediately hit me in the gut. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever just heard a verse or two and immediately thought, OH MY GOSH ... was that written just for me?
I had that feeling. Here it is, 1 Thessalonians 4:11:
"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."
I don't know how many times I've read that verse. But, for some reason, it stood out to me in a different way this time. The concept of minding your own business and working with your hands ... all within a quiet life. There's something very reassuring about the peaceful nature of a quiet life. I wouldn't say that I am a quiet person by nature. I don't think I'm necessarily a loud mouth, either, but I do enjoy socializing and such. But, I don't think this verse is simply about one's tendency towards introversion or extroversion--I think it's about life behind the scenes.
I feel that that is where I am right now. Quietly preparing for the next stage of our lives. I find myself beginning to withdraw from things and even people, not in a frustrated or pointed way, but for the purpose of gently slipping away as the end of this pregnancy draws near and the beginning of our new lives stands on the horizon. Quietly trusting God's hand. Quietly believing His plan for us. Quietly maintaining our home to the best of my ability. Finding rest through quietly working with my hands. Embracing the quiet and following God's lead in my involvement and in my relationships.
If my blog posts become fewer, don't worry--I'm still here. My computer time is waning as well and I want to use that time to spend with my husband and my son. I will definitely still post, as this blog is a big stress reliever for me! But, you know what I mean. You'll just have to excuse me if I go a day or two without an entry. :)
Speaking of which, it's time for me to go snuggle on the couch with my husband and watch the playoffs.
Have a lovely day, friends.