Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Live For Fly-Swatting.

I'm enrolled in the "Called to be a Keeper" bible study at our church. The basic principles of the study are to learn God's priorities for our lives, especially as women. Yesterday was the first day and I excitedly sat down at our kitchen table to do my homework for the day.

I took a deep breath, settled in, and opened the first page. I scoured the first two pages, drinking in every word, focusing on the story, and imagining it in my mind. The tone turned to priorities and how we organize the priorities in our life. I continued reading, smiling at the thought that this study is exactly what I need, that I am so easily distracted, it is necessary for me to really focus and clean up my nutsy life a bit.

Then came the Big Kahuna question: What is it you live for?

I rested my chin on my hand and thoughtfully considered the question. Hmmm. Thoughtful ponder thoughtful ponder.

Then. I heard it. 

A fly.

The past few days here have been unusually warm and a little family of flies decided to make my kitchen their home. One of them woke up, apparently, right as I was pondering the depths of life with my Big Kahuna question.


Bzzz.  Bzzzz.   Bzzzz.

I opened my eyes widely, blinking ferociously, attempting above all attempts to get that buzzing sound out of my mind, to concentrate, to be, you know, a good Keeper and all. 


I leapt up, grabbed the fly swatter from atop the fridge and SMACK! That fat fly didn't even see me coming. I tossed it in the trash, placed the swatter on the fridge, and settled back in my chair. Okay. Minor distraction, but it's okay. Distraction now gone. Initiate focus. Deep breaths.


What is it you live for?

Then I saw it. Out of the corner of my eye. Another fly, crawling across the table. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Ignore the fly, Katie, ignore the fly. Think about good things. Think about life and Jesus and happiness and priorities and IGNORE THE FLY. 

Bzzz. Bzzzz. 

My right eye popped open to see another fly crawling on the window. My left eye popped open to behold a fly peeking out from the sink. 

The next few moments are a bit of a blur, either from the speed at which I swatted or from my mind attempting to erase the massacre. I was swinging madly. Everywhere. At everything. The flies couldn't fly fast enough. I was trying to STUDY and they were obviously UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF EVALUATING ONE'S PRIORITIES IN LIFE. 


I smacked and swatted and screeched and stomped. I jumped. I flew. The swatter came down with a force of strength and swiftness I did not know I possessed. If the flies didn't die of swatting, they died of fear.

And then, all was quiet.

I stood there, swatter in hand, frozen. My ears strained for the tiniest bzzzz sound. But none could be heard. I released the breath I didn't realize I was holding and once again returned the swatter to the top of the fridge. I settled in my chair, smoothed down my hair, and picked up my pen. 

What is it you live for?

And without a second thought, I miserably scrawled: DOING. I LIVE FOR DOING. 

I allow the tiniest of insects to completely take me away from my task at hand. I do without thinking. The flies could have been handled later. I could have simply moved to the living room! Or my bedroom! By the time my kitchen was quiet, I had missed the point of making it quiet in the first place. And good grief almighty, I hope this study helps me learn to think before doing. 

The insect community will be grateful for it. :)


  1. oh, Katie, you crack me up! I probably would have done the same thing with the flies. I'm so glad we're doing the "keepers" seems like it came at the perfect time in our busy lives. :)

  2. Ha ha, good story! I can picture you swirling about, madly swatting the flies. Oh Katie. Funny.

  3. wow...I think it would have driven me crazy also, that's for sure! I, too, am loving this bible study and finding myself wanting to read ahead...which is a good thing, I think! I am so glad I know who to call now if I have fly buzzing around that I just can't seem to swat!!

  4. This is so me!!! My husband actually bought me a fly swatter for my birthday. The minute I hear the bzzzz, I get antsy and HAVE to grab the swatter. My husband is seriously in awe of my skill. Glad I'm not the only one!