Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Fantastic Pinterest Fail.

Let me first say, I know there are those out there who really hate Pinterest. It's unoriginal, it makes people feel inferior about their crafting abilities, it makes people question their value as parents when they don't throw their kids Elmo-themed parties with Elmo-shaped cookies and buy them an Elmo car driven by Elmo like that one other Mom did and she must be really awful and let's make fun of her because she's obviously crazy or I'm just really insecure, etc.

I mean, really. Who cares. It's a website where you pin things.

I, for one, love Pinterest.

I've found some really great crafts, recipes, outfits, and jokes there and I have utilized all of them. All of my favorite things, all in one place. What's REALLY fun, however, is the occurrence of a fantastic Pinterest Fail (which happens quite frequently around here).

Behold: The Swirly Cookie Disaster of 2013.

Here is the pin:



Brought to you by this blog, Salt Tree, which has all of the amazing things.

Swirly blue cookies with sprinkles?? My kids would love those! After having these thoughts, I didn't bother to actually click on the link (ha ha) and follow the recipe ... I figured the pictures told enough and I could figure it out on my own.

It's how I roll and it almost always, wait, no .... always? bites me in the rear.

So, I bought pre-made dough (HA HA) and a box of sprinkles. Bring it on. After mixing blue food coloring gel in one of the batches of pre-made dough (HA HA), the dough started to turn a little green. Meh, okay. We'll do green swirly cookies! Fun! I added flour because, if you've ever used pre-made dough, you know it's oily. And probably full of just really awful things for you. Fun again!

I rolled out each layer of dough and attempted to lay one layer upon the other, only to discover that the layers were staunchly adhered to my countertops (despite a heavy coating of flour) and I had to scrape them off in pieces and kind of mash everything together. And, um, roll them up, jelly-roll style.

At this point, I was feeling a little discouraged but I was NOT GOING TO GIVE UP. I dumped the sprinkles on the countertop and started rolling the dough log on the sprinkles ... but they wouldn't stick. My oily awful flour-infused now-green-ish pre-made dough (HA HA) was not exactly welcoming to the little specks of sugar. So, in frustration, I grabbed handfuls of sprinkles and mashed them on the log.

It looked something like this.


A slug-shaped sprinkle log.

Appetizing, right?

I then attempted to wrap the thing in plastic wrap, like the step-by-step photos up there, and lo and behold, the plastic wrap was NOT interested in sticking to the sprinkles. So, I finally pulled about a football field's length of plastic wrap out of the box and spun it around the sprinkle slug log before mashing it into a packed drawer in my fridge, to let them cool and settle while I let myself cool and settle.

About an hour later, I pulled the sprinkle slug log out of the fridge and sliced it up. My swirly super-fun cookies? Looked like this:


Um.

Okay. So, after baking, Salt Tree's cookies looked like this:



Mine? Looked like THIS!



Whoa Nelly!



Oy. I lovingly sawed them apart (yes, they were hard as bricks) and positioned them sweetly on my cake platter for all to see. Yet another Katie Pinterest Fail.

But the kids? The kids thought they were amazing. To quote Cub: "These are the coolest green--no wait, are they grey? These are the coolest grey cookies EVER!"

That's right.



Nailed it.

Have a lovely day. :)

6 comments:

  1. Hilarious. I looked at those. Now I don't think I will try them! Ha!

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  2. Yessssssssssssss. Laughing aloud at this story for the second time. This is why we're friends. :)

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  3. This is hilarious. I love that you never gave up. Kids like grey cookies...sure. This'll be wonderful! ;) I'm the same way! Love it!

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  4. Love your honesty ;) I have had several failed Pinterest attempts in my day, and I usually end up throwing it away in a huff of frustration and never mentioning to anyone for fear of them judging my sub-par Pinterest abilities. Kudos to you for your perseverance!

    P.s. I definitely laughed out loud at your "slug-shaped sprinkle log". But in a "she's so funny" sort of way. No judgement here ;)

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  5. Love your honesty ;) I have had several failed Pinterest attempts in my day, and I usually end up throwing it away in a huff of frustration and never mentioning to anyone for fear of them judging my sub-par Pinterest abilities. Kudos to you for your perseverance!

    P.s. I definitely laughed out loud at your "slug-shaped sprinkle log". But in a "she's so funny" sort of way. No judgement here ;)

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  6. When you showed the pre-baked slice of cookie, I was thinking, "Wow! That's not so bad...she may be exaggerating." Then I saw the comparison of your finished ones and the website's finished ones and laughed out loud! No judgment here, either! You're still a good mom!

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