Tuesday, December 14, 2010

No, You May Not Have My Blood Type.

At a store in the mall. Last stop. Long lines. Ready to go home.

I hand the cashier my items and swipe my credit card.

Cashier: Did you find everything okay?

Me: Yes! Thank you.

Cashier: Do you have any coupons or gift cards today?

Me: Nope! Not today!

Cashier begins taking clothing off the hangers.

Cashier: Would you like to save fifteen percent by opening a store card?

Me: No thank you.

Cashier: You can save fifteen percent on your store purchase today!

Me: No, thank you.

Cashier: If you open a store card, you can get fifteen percent off this purchase and then five percent of subsequent purchases (limitations apply)!

Me: No, really, I'm good. Thank you, though.

Cashier puts clothes in bags.

Cashier: Okay. And what is your phone number?

Me: What?

Cashier: May I have your phone number please?

(I make up a number.)

Cashier: We don't seem to have your number in the system. Can I please have your home phone number?

Me: It's not listed. (Meaning: We don't have a land line. Leave me alone.)

Cashier: You will not receive any promotional or sales calls, we just use it to know where our customers are coming from.

Me: It's not listed. But thank you.

Cashier: May I have your email address?

The line is growing longer behind me.

Me: Okay, yes, lalalalahereisanemailaddressInolongeruse.

Cashier: Thank you! And what is your first name?

Me: Katie.

Cashier: And your last name?

Me: May I ask why you need my name? It's on my card.

Cashier: For your email address. You will not receive any promotional--

Me:--(I give her my last name.)

Cashier: Okay! Great!

Me: Alright. Thank you!

She reaches the bag to me and pauses.

Cashier: And would you like to donate five dollars to St. Jude's Children's Hospital today?

Okay, really? Seriously? Who can say no to that??

Me: Sure, that would be fine.

Cashier rings a bell and cheers.

Cashier hands me my receipt. And my bag.

I turn heel to leave as I hear her beginning her spiel with the person behind me.

And we wonder why the lines are so long??


  1. It's so annoying. They do that everywhere in Chicago. I've just started saying, "No. I won't provide that information". I say it in the nicest way possible and they usually back down and move on to the next victim.

  2. OMG, I hate that! I get so irritated, especially when they are all chipper about it. Being a Finance person, I ALWAYS want to go into a lecture on how bad numerous credit cards are when they try to persuade me to get a discount for opening one. No is no people! ;)

    Funny how you make numbers up. I make emails up too. LOL.

  3. Part of me feels badly because I know they are doing their job ... but maybe they could put the cross-selling on hold when there are 2,000 agitated people in line??

  4. Oh man, that's annoying. I don't mind if they ask once, because I know they've been pushed to do so...but this seems ridiculous!!