Sunday, March 14, 2010

Just Wait (Part II).

Yesterday's post was one of those posts that you write, and then hesitate to click the "publish post" button. My finger hovered over the mouse for a while before I finally decided to throw caution to the wind and let the world (okay, my tiny itty-bitty corner of it) know how frustrating it can be to get comments of the unsolicited/condescending variety (not blog comments, mind you) as you round the corner towards the last trimester of pregnancy.

Naturally, my brief but somewhat bitter assertation came on the heels of a very bad day. I had just hung up the phone with my Mom after blubbering to her in a wallowing vacuum of self-pity, bemoaning my condition of constant exhaustion and the ever-present reminder that I have a human being wedged in my rib cage. I was less than graceful and I am so very thankful for mothers, who help put things in perspective. Yesterday's slightly pathetic attitude was precisely why I started writing the things for which I am thankful on my Facebook status every morning. Those posts are just a tiny page of the massive volumes for which I have to be grateful and are typically a very humbling way to begin each day. And despite my best efforts towards gratitude yesterday morning, I then found myself in a massive cry-fest, which was not, in and of itself, a bad thing. Cry-fests are typically a part of pregnancy, especially a pregnancy experienced by yours truly, who cries at the slightest gesture, be it a life-altering moment or a Hallmark commercial.

And while yesterday's post was written in good humor, the reality is that there is always truth to sarcasm. I definitely will not oppose that reality, seeing as I wrote that post knowing exactly how I felt about all of those comments I've received. Being tired and uncomfortable only spurred on my need for venomous revenge, to spout how truly offended I felt at some of the off-hand remarks directed my way. Granted, I chose to write a post based on a few negative remarks, rather than a post on the overwhelming positive remarks I've also received. When we wallow in self-pity, the negative is just a tad more juicy and delectable. Positive is boring.

Positive makes us change our mindset. And we wallowers have no desire to do such a thing.

In person, I have the ability to take the high road, to attempt to not allow naysayers to have any emotional stock regarding my pregnancy, but I am not perfect, and the comments still sting. And while the speakers of said comments have no idea that their words were a tad unnecessary, I feel like I am left in their wake of negativity as they move on and I stand still, soaking it in. Because, while pregnancy hormones can allow us to bask in the glow of fantastic indifference, they usually primarily cause us to linger on one emotion or another, regardless of how much we tell ourselves we don't care. We do care. We're humans.

We're humans carrying humans. We double-care!

So, my apologies for failing to take the high road with my post. If it made you laugh, good--that honestly was the original intent. But I wish that I could say the rest of my intent was pure, but it wasn't. I was mad. So I came to Blogger and dished a heaping of frustration for all to see. I'm not saying I feel differently--I do wish that people who think our second child will be evil would take a hike. But, there are kinder ways of saying that. Like, "I do wish that people who think our second child will be evil would enjoy a nice cup of ice cream."

Ice cream that tastes like mud, maybe, but ice cream just the same.

[And I will do my best (try to, anyway) to keep my attitude in check. And I'll enjoy the funny side of things. After all, God has a sense of humor, as evidenced by the fact that He believes I can handle two children 20 months apart! :)]

Have a lovely day!


  1. I don't think you need to apologize! I found the post refreshing, it's exhausting to put on a happy face 24/7. Really you touched on an issue that I know frustrates so many moms and moms to be, and it is one of the things I look forward to the least about having kids someday! Especially from people with twins, I anticipate the "oh that's nothing, try having 2 babies at the same time!" comments.

  2. I thought your post was funny in a good way. My son is "strong willed" which isn't much of a surprise to me since my husband and I both are strong willed. Instead of seeing him as a future rebel, I choose to believe that with the right guidance and a whole lot of prayer it will one day make him into a strong young mand of God who isn't afraid to stand up for what is right (I know long run-on sentence). On that note I have some just waits for you. Just wait . . . you're going to have not one but two precious lives to enjoy, nuture, teach and love. Just wait . . . you're going to get to see what an awesome big brother your little Cub will be. Just wait and see all the great things God has in store for your family. Yes it will be hard and challenging, but I've found that the most rewarding things in life are often hard and challenging.

  3. BOOOOO for the "Just Wait's"! Annoying as all get out. And for people like you and me, blogs are sometimes a good way to say what we never would in real life. :)

  4. HA. How ironic. I made a post about the horridness of the past week at my house with the sickness and someone told me "just wait until you have more than one kid and they pass the germs back and forth." AHHHHH......! Lady, just let me have a bad week. Seriously.

  5. You have every right to be upset and's human nature. People who make those comments truly are clueless ARE better than that.

    Laugh, laugh, laugh. Your child will not be evil and you will not turn into an obese mother of two under two.

  6. No need to apologize! I loved your post because it was honest!

  7. Uhm, I think I might have uttered the words "I don't know how any baby could be better than Caleb." once or twice. Not intended as a slight towards other babies, but an observation that I think Caleb is the best baby ever, including all children past/present. Sorry, all other moms. If I have unintentionally offended, apologies extended.

  8. I loved your last post - those comments drive me crazy, because it's as if people don't want to allow you to enjoy your own joy. It's like hanging out at a playground and telling little kids to "just wait" until they get their hearts broken for the first time or "just wait" until jr. high when their friends become catty tweens. I'd rather celebrate with people in their joy than teach them to dread difficulty & inconvenience. God will give grace in those tough moments, why try to live in them now?

  9. It's though some people think when a person gets pregnant, she gets stupid as well. I can't stand it when people give negative advice and comments. Don't let it get you down, I'm sure they are just jealous because they know you will have 2 amazing little ones filling your home with love and joy :)