Naturally, my brief but somewhat bitter assertation came on the heels of a very bad day. I had just hung up the phone with my Mom after blubbering to her in a wallowing vacuum of self-pity, bemoaning my condition of constant exhaustion and the ever-present reminder that I have a human being wedged in my rib cage. I was less than graceful and I am so very thankful for mothers, who help put things in perspective. Yesterday's slightly pathetic attitude was precisely why I started writing the things for which I am thankful on my Facebook status every morning. Those posts are just a tiny page of the massive volumes for which I have to be grateful and are typically a very humbling way to begin each day. And despite my best efforts towards gratitude yesterday morning, I then found myself in a massive cry-fest, which was not, in and of itself, a bad thing. Cry-fests are typically a part of pregnancy, especially a pregnancy experienced by yours truly, who cries at the slightest gesture, be it a life-altering moment or a Hallmark commercial.
And while yesterday's post was written in good humor, the reality is that there is always truth to sarcasm. I definitely will not oppose that reality, seeing as I wrote that post knowing exactly how I felt about all of those comments I've received. Being tired and uncomfortable only spurred on my need for venomous revenge, to spout how truly offended I felt at some of the off-hand remarks directed my way. Granted, I chose to write a post based on a few negative remarks, rather than a post on the overwhelming positive remarks I've also received. When we wallow in self-pity, the negative is just a tad more juicy and delectable. Positive is boring.
Positive makes us change our mindset. And we wallowers have no desire to do such a thing.
In person, I have the ability to take the high road, to attempt to not allow naysayers to have any emotional stock regarding my pregnancy, but I am not perfect, and the comments still sting. And while the speakers of said comments have no idea that their words were a tad unnecessary, I feel like I am left in their wake of negativity as they move on and I stand still, soaking it in. Because, while pregnancy hormones can allow us to bask in the glow of fantastic indifference, they usually primarily cause us to linger on one emotion or another, regardless of how much we tell ourselves we don't care. We do care. We're humans.
We're humans carrying humans. We double-care!
So, my apologies for failing to take the high road with my post. If it made you laugh, good--that honestly was the original intent. But I wish that I could say the rest of my intent was pure, but it wasn't. I was mad. So I came to Blogger and dished a heaping of frustration for all to see. I'm not saying I feel differently--I do wish that people who think our second child will be evil would take a hike. But, there are kinder ways of saying that. Like, "I do wish that people who think our second child will be evil would enjoy a nice cup of ice cream."
Ice cream that tastes like mud, maybe, but ice cream just the same.
[And I will do my best (try to, anyway) to keep my attitude in check. And I'll enjoy the funny side of things. After all, God has a sense of humor, as evidenced by the fact that He believes I can handle two children 20 months apart! :)]
Have a lovely day!