Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Motherhood: The Club.

When I became pregnant, I remember feeling as though I had entered into a whole new world of womanhood. I could now relate to certain women to whom I had previously had no connection, all because of a little life growing inside of me. When a pregnant friend would lament over the fatigue and nausea, I actually understood what she was talking about--my sympathy had morphed into empathy. I now understood the depth of that fatigue, oh, the plunging, never-ending, insatiable depths of pregnancy fatigue. Oh. Ohhhhhh.

In my church community, there were several women who were also pregnant when I was pregnant, only they were pregnant with their second or third child. It opened up a whole new realm of friends and I welcomed their advice and wisdom. And, once our babies were born, those friendships continued and have caused me to grow close to some really amazing women.

When Cub was born, that whole new world I had stepped into in pregnancy evolved into the new world of Motherhood, a world where I was immersed in diapers and late-night feedings and cooing and baby talk and toys. Just as my sympathy had morphed into empathy during pregnancy, that same empathy carried over into being a new Mom. Moms became my heroes. I thought I was encouraging and understanding of my friends who had gone before me and had children before I, but oh man, I was wrong. I had no clue. My respect for Moms flew through the roof, and my respect for single Moms or Moms of multiples flew through the roof, crashed through the atmosphere, and soared to outer space. The "just wait"'s I  had heard throughout my pregnancy began to come true. And not just the blow-out diapers or the spit-up. The LOVE. The INTENSE LOVE. Nothing could have prepared me for how much I love my Cub.

Not only was I immersed in the day-to-day tasks of Motherhood, I was also immersed with a new group of women. A group of Mothers. The concept of Mom's Clubs and such kind of made me want to break out in hives before I had a baby, but now, as a new Mom, I began to recognize the significance of such groups' existence. Moms need each other. Play groups are really support groups in disguise. As I learned the importance of socializing my baby with other babies, I also learned the importance of socializing myself with other Moms. It's easy to get stuck in your own world when you become a Mom, a world where you think that everything you are doing is the right way to do it, at least in the sense that you never think to question it. I gleaned so much wisdom from other Moms ("More feedings during the day means more sleep at night!" "The rice-cereal-in-the-bottle is a myth--they're either good night sleepers or they're not, and that's okay!" "Who cares if they can't drink from a sippy cup yet. They won't take a bottle to college.") It wasn't unwelcome advice at all--it was a group of Moms settled together in a room, sipping coffee and talking together, Moms who share the same vision of Motherhood but who all carry it out differently. Sharing wisdom and sharing stories, laughing at each other and with each other. I learned to relax. And, as I've mentioned in previous posts, I learned that Motherhood is less about doing things right and more about doing things well.

Motherhood not only brought me my precious Cub, it also brought me new friends. And I love them. Yet another unexpected blessing. :)


  1. very well said, friend...and we'll see you at those Mom's Club/playgroups both today and tomorrow!!

  2. I love the Mom's group I'm a member of. Some days, I don't know what I would do without them. Glad you found one you enjoy.

  3. Loved catching up on all your posts, and SO good to see you this morning!