Friday, September 28, 2012

Rabbit, Rabbit.

I awoke to the sound of little voices outside my door and it was really quite a pleasant way to start the day. Lydia was in the pack 'n play in our room, snoozing away, while I put my feet on the floor, stretched with a yawn, and stood up to meander out of our bedroom and greet our kids with a smile.

Upon cracking open our door, my direct view of the front door showed me that it was wide open. I rolled my eyes as this is an issue in our house with the kids (DO NOT OPEN THE FRONT DOOR WITHOUT ASKING) and as I stepped out of my room to call their names, I noticed in my peripheral a red stain on the carpet in our dining room.

Sigh. And the day begins. As I walked to the aforementioned stain, I noticed another stain, and another. And ... some red stains smeared on the baseboards WHAT THE HECK?! I looked up to the see the back door open as well, and when I turned to look down again at the red stains at my feet, I saw it.

A dead rabbit.

Wedged under our fish tank.

And a very, very proud George the Cat, sitting by the front door, licking his paws.

My mouth gaped open as the kids, who had been playing outside on our walkway, came bounding inside. I fumbled around trying to shoo them into the other room and all I could say was "GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW DEAD RABBIT!!!" as the plea for my husband to get out of bed. Sure enough he sprang out of bed and upon taking his first glance at the bludgeoned bunny, promptly dry-heaved into his hand.

Apparently, the kids had opened both doors (DO NOT OPEN DOORS CHILDREN, RABBITS COULD COME IN AND DIE) and George, who had been playfully chasing a rabbit in our backyard, chased the rabbit inside, took a swipe at him in our kitchen (hence the blood stain I later discovered on our tile) and completed the annihilation of said rabbit in our dining room.

On my carpet.

My husband began the discarding-of-the-bunny process while I herded the kids into the van and drove haphazardly to our weekly breakfast date at PawPaw's house (PawPaw is the kiddos' great grandfather). And after telling him of that morning's events, I followed him upstairs to his attic and sat next to him as he handed me the Spot Bot carpet cleaner he used to remove the fecal matter his dogs left behind when they had lost control of their bowel movements, back when they were alive.

I took the Spot Bot and loaded it into the van, queasily.

What's worse is that the rabbit wasn't actually dead yet. Apparently, one can still be alive, even if the stomach is outside of the body.

I won't tell you how it ended, but I will tell you that today?

My coffee is well-deserved.

Have a lovely weekend, friends.



  1. I know it's not the most ideal way to wake up, but you have to know this is one of those stories you'll look back on for years to come and laugh. Because after you clean up the blood, what else is there to do but laugh? ;)

  2. Oh my word! So, so disgusting. I'm just glad Josh was home! Can you imagine having to clean that up by yourself while keeping the kids out of it? Ewwww!!!

    1. Oh Leslie, that's just it! Today is Josh's last day of work, so he had to go in, leaving the stains behind. He took care of the bunny, but I have to take care of the carpet. I have the dining room barricaded and I'm letting the Spot Bot do its business (with the help of some peroxide). Ohhhh what a DAY!

  3. If there was anything I did NOT expect to hear about this morning when you called, it was this story. SO WEIRD. And gross!!!

  4. And now I understand the dead rabbit story fully. I feel badly for the poor little bunny. However, I could help but laugh at the complete craziness of this story. Life can be so odd and warped...