I've had a lot of people ask me if I'm "done" being pregnant. This is, obviously, understandable, as having two little ones and a massive preggo belly make any simple task a bit arduous and the idea of not waddling around like a walrus should be somewhat appealing. And it is. I remember with my first two pregnancies I felt "done" around 36 weeks or so. Just FINISHED. Enough already.
But that hasn't exactly been the case this time.
I feel like I'm in this sort of extraordinary spanse of time with my kids. We know that life is about to change, but it hasn't changed yet, so here we are, existing in a state of anticipation. Every day is one day closer to meeting Lydia. The kids know that a baby is coming, as much as they can understand it, and I think an extra sense about them has caused them to crave more time with me. God has blessed me with really affectionate kids--they've always loved to be snuggled and held, but I've noticed their "need" for me has increased over the past few days. I've made it a point to slow down more and really spend sweet one-on-one time with each of them, doing their favorite craft or reading their favorite book. I find that I relish them more, their expressions, their words, the sound of their voice ... I'm drinking it all in while my attention is not yet again divided.
I know that after Lydia is born, life will, in time, acclimate to its new sense of normal, and I will again, hopefully, find my head, as I am pretty sure I will lose it for a few weeks (months? eh, years?). But I guess I'm just trying to absorb as much of our current normal now as I can. I'm getting teary writing this all out and I think there's a part of me that's going to miss this, these days of waiting with my two ducklings following me all day, knowing we are on the brink of a beautiful life-change. It's scary and wonderful, all at the same time.
I'm so glad to have them with me. I'm so glad to have little hands to pat my belly.
And, who knows, maybe Lydia is happy as a clam and will wait even longer to come. Then you might see an "I'M DONE" post! But, until then, I am joyful for these moments and humbled by what is yet to come.
Have a lovely day.