Oh wait, that I understand.
That is part of having two kids. :)
It's funny, because, even now, as I sit here with my thoughts fresh on my brain, I still can't really figure out how to make them make sense. I find this happening a lot. My brain is not used to having to juggle two kids, chores, errands, etc. I honestly feel at the end of the day that my brain is a tad warped, expended to limits unknown, and what's left is a shell of a mom who had a really great day ... she just can't remember most of it. Honestly, the kids are great. Naomi is awake more these days and her wake time is revealing a very laid back, happy baby. Her crying volume is still gently touching the range of glass-shattering, but we now know what her cry is telling us, and thusly the crying doesn't happen quite as much (although we are letting her cry for up to ten minutes before bedtime and my-oh-my, this little lady can SCREAM!). Cub is doing wonderfully and lately his vocabulary has taken another leap and he has started putting sentences together. It's wonderful having conversations with my little man throughout the day.
So, then, how am I doing? Well, I think I'm doing really well. Again, the anxiety has stayed at bay, and I've felt healthy and happy. I feel like time is slipping by too quickly, and I try to soak in my time with the kids while they are at this stage as much as I can. Today I was rocking Naomi in the glider and Cub toddled in with his Mr. Lion. He climbed up next to us, and my heart burst when I looked down at the two little blonde heads taking up the space of my lap, the littlest one drifting to sleep while the bigger one quietly sang "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" as the glider rocked back and forth. The three of us won't fit in that glider for long.
The baby weight is staying put longer this time and ironically, I'm thankful for it. With Cub, my pregnancy weight was gone in three weeks, and my weight continued to plummet until I lost twenty pounds beyond my pre-pregnancy weight. That is what postpartum anxiety does to you. For me, loss of appetite has always been a coping mechanism. So, this time around, I'm thankful for my voracious appetite! It's the primary sign to me that my body is doing well. I haven't stepped on a scale, but I don't mind the way I look, either. I just have a post-pregnancy pooch. I'm looking forward to being able to exercise again! I've done some Pilates at night, since I'm pretty sure I lost my posture with this last pregnancy. Good grief! I find myself correcting my posture throughout the day. Shoulders back, Katie. Let's try not to look like Quasimodo.
I'm learning how to prioritize my time better. Now that Naomi is on a three-hour feeding routine, I know more of when she is sleepy and when she is hungry and such. Going from two-hour feedings to three-hour feedings is an amazing freedom, even though having to nurse every three hours sounds pretty confining! She is a quick eater, so feeding times are very doable. Today I cleaned the house for the first time since having two kids--meaning, I cleaned more than one room. I cooked dinner, did two loads of laundry, and on top of taking care of two kiddos, it was a lot of work and I'm exhausted. But I'm growing more comfortable in my days, settling into this groove of two-kiddo living.
There have been hard days, too, don't get me wrong. One morning last week I cried as my husband hugged me before he went to work. Mornings after sleepless nights are the hardest. But the day always gets better. And as time goes by, the hard days become more manageable. Even hard days can be good days.
It really is double the joy.
Have a lovely day, friends.