I had a bad dream last night. It wasn't scary, but it was stressful, and thusly I place it under the "bad" category because it was by no means a "good" dream. I think it involved me driving to the airport to catch a flight and getting stuck in traffic and running late. Scary, no. But bad? YES. I awoke with a start and grabbed my cell phone, only to find that I had slept in later than I had wanted. I crawled out of bed and as I stumbled to my "spot" for a prayer (albeit a quick or potentially incoherent prayer), Cub suddenly screamed over the monitor.
Now. Cub doesn't typically wake up crying. He usually wakes up quietly, cooing and giggling, and there are times where he's awake for several minutes before we hear him. We've considered ditching the monitor, since he is definitely old enough and our house is small enough for the acoustics of hearing a crying baby, but he's just so quiet. Anyway. I digress.
So, I turned tail and rushed to the nursery (with my husband right behind me--I love him. I really do. He's great.) and there was Cub, standing up, with huge alligator tears pouring down his red cheeks. We picked him up and his diaper was soaking wet. It had soaked through the diaper and through his clothes, PLUS his little bare feet were cold. What a miserable way to wake up. And, given his sleeping routine as of late, he actually woke up early, which is never fun. We took care of the diaper and the clothes and started our morning. All during breakfast, Cub would take a bite of oatmeal and then stick his thumb in his mouth. Take another bite, stick his thumb in his mouth. I stubbed my toe walking from the nursery to the kitchen and it made ME want to cry, and as I sat at the kitchen table with my bedheaded baby, I myself a morning mess, I chuckled at what a miserable pair we must make on this haphazard morning.
After breakfast, as Cub was playing with his toys, he slipped while he crawled and hit his head on the wood floor. The cry that followed was one of pain and exhaustion. Kind of like giving up. Like, "Good GRIEF, already!!" I picked him up and cuddled him and kissed his little head, and he relaxed against me and rested his head on my shoulder. I snuck into the nursery and sat him on my lap to sing to him (we always sing before sleepy times). He sat sideways, leaning against me, and when I looked down after one round of "You Are My Sunshine", I saw his little eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy and slow. I peeked up at the crib and then looked back down at my little snuggly Cub. I settled into the glider and wrapped my arms around him and we rocked together for quite a while. I took a deep breath and said that prayer I had meant to pray before my nutsy morning began. It was just what I needed.
Sometimes it would be nice if life came with a "rewind" button. That's for sure.
But I'll take "pause" any day, too. :)